In order to write well it is always best to write what you know. It is the least to say that I have faced many trials and errors in my life but this story is a little different. This story will relate to the masses who journeyed to Nashville and I hope it will also serve as relief in the comfort that they don’t face the same fears alone. Like everyone else who leave their hometown to venture towards the land of opportunities, Nashville would steadily become a place we would call home.
In the face of reality we had to find steady jobs to keep afloat. And after settling a year in a half later I can honestly say we have crossed many paths, faced many demons, made many friendships, and found a great church to plug into. But something was missing from our DNA! The sense of “wanting to belong” lingered on our hearts. Jess and I have always marched to the beat of our own drums, we always steered away from clicks and cliches. But we had this deep overwhelming feeling of falling. A sense of anxiety overcame our hearts, and we didn’t know how to stop ourselves from feeling this way. “What was the purpose of our move to Nashville?” That was the question that laid heavy on our hearts. With this blurred vision, our journey became stagnant, an uncomfortable place in which Jesse and I did not want to be. This dormant season made for a very interesting experience. Where once the familiar now became unfamiliar, and we found ourselves second guessing our every move.
Speaking from my own experience, I felt I was quickly diminishing. Everything that made up my DNA was invalid and I felt I had to recreate myself. I was trying to prove myself worthy ALL THE TIME. My palms would become sweaty, my forehead would begin to sweat, and my stomach would start turning in directions one should not utter out loud. It became exhausting! I even caught myself practicing the lines in my head of what I should say and how I should say it before I would say it. I was losing my identity. I was falling into a cycle of intimidation.
The latin word intimidation is intimidātus and that means “to make afraid.” Now if anybody who knows me, and knows me well then they can vouch for me when I say, “I do not get intimidated very easily!” I would rather poke my eye out before I let someone else belittle me and make me feel less than worthy. Nashville is an incredible city where talented and innovative people come to pursue their dreams. But it is also a city where people can conveniently fall into the routine of monotony and identity crises. A place where fear can filter the mind and make you doubt your calling and purpose.
2 Timothy 1:6-7
6 This is why I remind you to fan into flames the spiritual gift God gave you when I laid my hands on you. 7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
Even the greatest need affirmation. Paul speaks here of a need for Timothy to rekindle the gift God had given him. There are many things that we can’t fix, but there are some things that can, and our gifts can lead to that of healing and restoration. Our journey, and the power of the Gospel can be life-changing for ourselves as well as the people around us. We need to be prepared for the opportunities that God will give us to be a witness. What’s the challenge? To be the best servants we can be! To live life extraordinary. This is certainly not the time to loose our focus, but to strengthen our commitment. God has given us certain abilities, and we need to train ourselves to use them to the fullest.
Our journey now still isn’t easy, but we refocused our attention to whats important and not to whats expected. Jesse and I have decided to take the challenge and put into practice more to trust in God as oppose to man. We know our calling and we know why we are in Nashville, now its just a matter of following through what God called us to do. In doing so, “NO” will be in our vocabulary a lot more, and we may have to use it towards situations that may seem like an incredible opportunity but it doesn’t always mean that its the BEST opportunity.
Remind yourself who you are and whose you are! Speak authority into your life and into your families life. Love out loud and make a different with the tools that God has gifted you with.
And to make you laugh I thought this video is the perfect anecdote to help bring you back to focus…or just bring a smile to your face…
“because I am good enough, smart enough, and dog garnet, people like me!”
La Unica Reina
Reinalisa Santoyo 